I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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