So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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