if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
