I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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