OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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