Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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