I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
