every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
