A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
