You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
