Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
