but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
