I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
