I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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