I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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