I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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