you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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