If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My liver just had a heart attack.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
