girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
