Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
smell my finger.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
