all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
