Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
