hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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