i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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