i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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