Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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