We named our party play list daddy issues
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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