I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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