i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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