u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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