he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
