Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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