Well apparently he's into motor boating.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
