Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
