Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
