mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
