i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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