the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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