Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
