Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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