I will die if light touches me.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
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YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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