Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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