this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
