I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
