it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
