How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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