everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
