Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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