Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
