K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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