Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
