Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
