I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
