You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
