We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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