You just made me feel so damn special
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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