We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize