And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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