So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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